I'll start out by saying that this post is a little long - but I didn't want to leave anything out!
Earlier this month I had the opportunity to visit Maplewood High School in North Nashville on behalf of Character Counts! I spent about 2 hours with the girls' basketball team and a cosmetology class. Maplewood High School hasn't made the news for its outstanding students, athletes, or leaders, but instead, Maplewood is recognized for the shooting that happened at their graduation last year, the fight at a basketball game that led to suspension from tournament play this year, and the gang and drug activity that happens in their community. Maplewood is not your typical "pageant girl" appearance, but it turned out to be one of the biggest blessings and eye opening appearances I have ever done.
It's easy to walk into a room of 2nd and 3rd graders who have an instantaneous admiration for you because you have a shiny object on your head - they hang on your every word. It can even be easy to win over your average All-American, middle-class high school student who has an after school job and a few extracurricular activities. But walking into Maplewood High School and that classroom full of girls was not quite as easy. They did not have an instantaneous admiration for me - more like an instantaneous "who the heck is this girl?" opinion of me.
Most of these students don't live in the suburbs, or have the latest i-phone, or wear designer jeans. Right at 74% of the students at Maplewood receive free lunch and breakfast at school - the average percent for the state is about 30% per school. Many live in what could possibly be considered unsafe and unhealthy conditions. Pay-by-the night hotels are home to some of these kids. After my visit, Tom Carr, the ED of Character Counts drove me by some of these places, and it was honestly like something from a movie.
But I knew this was a rare opportunity for me to really share my passion for building character, and my passion for encouraging people to decide their own future based on the person they are, not the place where they come from.
Everyone has a story - even pageant girls - and once they listened long enough to find out that I grew up in a single-parent household, and that my dad chose not to be a part of my life, and that I worked all four years of college - they started to come around a little. Now, I made it very clear to them that I was very lucky and blessed growing up. My mom worked and sacrificed her needs and wants to make sure I never had to go without and that I never missed out on an opportunity. I have a wonderful family and support system of great people who have all made sure that I had as many opportunities as possible. By no means is my life equivocal to some of theirs, but in some ways, it was similar - and that helped open the doors of communication.
These young women are strong, intelligent, beautiful young girls who have dreams and ambitions that go to the moon and back, but unfortunately, they don't all have the same support system as me - and that's where building a strong base of character really counts.
I talked to these girls about having a strong work-ethic and how far a little hard work can go. I talked about the power of perseverance, and how I understand what it's like to have to keep trying and trying and trying after not succeeding the first time - I told them to always remember that each time they don't quite reach their goal, to look back and see what they learned along the way, and then try again. I talked about the value of respect - you have to give it first, to get it in return (A lesson my mamma taught me a long time ago). I talked about stake-holders and choices. Every time we make a decision, someone else is affected - indirectly or directly - and I asked them to sit back and think about the people in their life that their choices could impact. Who could they make proud? Who could they disappoint? Who could they hurt or help? These are all questions that everyone should think about every time they make a decision.
About half-way through my visit, some of the girls really started opening up to me, and participating in the conversation. They asked questions and talked about their lives and their hopes and dreams. And I told them, with 100% confidence that each one of them could make their dreams happen - if they worked hard for it - NO EXCUSES. They can't blame it on someone else, or who their family is, or where they live - they have to do it themselves, and they can, if they want it bad enough. I reminded them that coming from a community with a bad reputation does not entitle them to a life-time supply of 2nd chances - but more than anything, it gives them an added responsibility to set an example for their peers and younger children in that community. They have an opportunity to change the way people look at their community - if they put in the hard work, maintain perseverance, show respect for themselves and others, and make good choices that impact their lives and the lives of others in a positive way.
Visiting Maplewood and the community around it, really put things into perspective. That school and those girls are exactly why I am so passionate about Character Education and pursuing my dream of becoming Miss TN. There are hundreds of girls all across our state that need to hear that they CAN do something great, and that where they come from DOES NOT decide where they can go!
"Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are, to some extent, a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it, piece by piece - by thought, choice, courage, and determination."
- H.J. Brown
